I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My penis needs a shock collar
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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