Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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