I'm eating all of the evidence.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
