You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
