butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
