Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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