oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
