I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
