after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
