Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
two words: eviction party
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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