No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
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