Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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