then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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