I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
do nipples grow back?
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