I wish my penis had an off switch
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
