I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I need a burrito and a hug.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
