I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i need some magic done to my vagina
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