I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
