Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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