Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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