All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
