Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You made out with two different species that night
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
