I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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