i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize