Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
