I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
