Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
