Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
