batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
