I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
