i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
