too bad you live with your parents still
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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