I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
