well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize