Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I supernannyed him into submission
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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