Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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