Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize