i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
