im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
