FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
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