It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
