Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
