If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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