It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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