I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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