Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
