Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
