umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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