i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
