she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
