Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
