what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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