He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
