Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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