I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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