here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's official drugs can't kill me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
