you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
