i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
