fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
