I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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