his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
