I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
