So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize