google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
