I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
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I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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