we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
