Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
